in us

"We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us." -C.S. Lewis

ruin

"Christ had no tenderness whatsoever toward anything that was ultimately going to ruin a person in his service to God." -Oswald Chambers

Hard to Get

You who live in heaven Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth Who are afraid of being left by those we love And who get hardened in the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape To find the faith to ask for daily bread Did You forget about us after You had flown away Well I memorized every word You said Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath While You're up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness Did You ever know need Do You remember just how long a night can get? When You were barely holding on And Your friends fall asleep And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat Will those who mourn be left uncomforted While You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know You bore our sorrows And I know You feel our pain And I know that it would not hurt any less Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out At the One who loves me most And after I have figured this, somehow What I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time We can't see what's ahead And we can not get free from what we've left behind I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here To where I'm lost enough to let myself be led And so You've been here all along I guess It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

-Rich Mullins

obey

"The true mark of the saint is that he can waive his own rights and obey the Lord Jesus." -Oswald Chambers

sovereignty

"...which God will bring about in His own time- God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords" 1 Timothy 6:15

two love

true love is unconditional, that means you can't lose it because of something you did

that also means, you didn't get it because of something you did... or who you are

yet we try so hard to earn someone's love and we expect them to earn ours

trust is earned. habits or tendencies are learned. these take time

love is freely given. we act as though, to love, takes time

when I think it's only in a moment

one moment

you love someone

love

all true love is born in Christ

we, the object of Christ' affection, will be blessed to love

to say- Christ has enabled me, He will give me the capacity to love

at times might I love as Christ first loved?

may this be the case, that I might love as Christ loved.

entrust

"if you will entrust yourself entirely and absolutely to the omnipotence of God, He will delight to keep you." -Andrew Murray

self

"nothing but love can expel and conquer our selfishness" -Andrew Murray

peace

you know what I've noticed lately? my sleep has been... sweet. maybe I'll give God the credit on that one, because I know there's someone trying to ruin it for me

(thought continued) peace. when I think of peace, I remember July seventh, that was the night that I picked Shawn up in Brownwood. the Lord gave me peace of mind, clarity of thought to realize that He is God. He is good. my mind... it's always racing with thoughts, thoughts that worry... I think satan waits there, talking with me about my life

that's when I call on Him. I've heard you say many times recently, how you've called on Him... that's exactly what I do ('Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...')

and I guess He's sorta like my dad. He won't necessarily fix my problem, but He will comfort me and He will be there with me through it all

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments, and His paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor?" Romans 11:33, 34

try

your faith has been tested, is being tested... that you might grow. and I think you know that you believe in Christ, I think you are a Christ "follower" and as all the rest of us are, you're human

I have seen you, and you're definitely "working out" your faith, you are a witness to Christ' kingdom

one of my favorite quotes-

"God knows quite well how hard we find it to love Him more than anyone or anything else, and He won't be angry with us as long as we are trying. And He will help us." -Lewis

we're too finite to understand Him, and we're too human to not want to understand Him. I think He knows we will struggle with this

a blessing

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 7:24-26

free

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galations 5:13

focus

"know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. Don't make a mistake by turning to the right or the left." Proverbs 4:26,27

...but we need confession

we desire repentance

I am convinced that this is the heart of a Christian

forgiveness

and I've realized a paradox of true forgiveness, at least to my human mind

to forgive without need of an apology

that Christ does not require our confession

to borrow a phrase-

"the mystery of mercy"

rather, the mystery of grace

a little bit

something I've realized-

forgiveness is an act of love

and true love comes from the Father

unconditional, dependent upon nothing, neither earned nor lost

poverty revisited

my poverty... maybe my poverty is the ONLY place that God has not provided EVERYTHING. maybe it's my own place that I can look and see that I am nothing without Him.

God is faithful

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13

obedient

"take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" II Corinthians 10:5

lead

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead." Luke 9:23

Not an Ideal but a Divine Reality

Because God has already laid the only foundation of our fellowship, because God has bound us together in one body with other Christians in Jesus Christ, long before we entered into common life with them, we enter into that common life not as demanders but as thankful recipients. We thank God for what He has done for us. We thank God for giving us brethren who live by His call, by His forgiveness and His promise. We do not complain of what God does not give us; we rather thank God for what He does give us daily. And is not what has been given us enough: brothers, who will go on living with us through sin and need under the blessing of His grace? Is the divine gift of Christian fellowship anything less than this, any day, even the most difficult and distressing day? Even when sin and misunderstanding burden the communal life, is not the sinning brother still a brother, with whom I, too, stand under the Word of Christ? Will not his sin be a constant occasion for me to give thanks that both of us may live in the forgiving love of God in Jesus Christ? Thus the very hour of disillusionment with my brother becomes incomparably salutary, because it so thoroughly teaches me that neither of us can ever live by our own words and deeds, but only by that one Word and Deed which really binds us together- the forgiveness of sins in Jesus Christ. When the morning mists of dreams vanish, then dawns the bright day of Christian fellowship.

In the Christian community thankfulness is just what it is anywhere else in the Christian life. Only he who gives thanks for little things receives the big things. We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts He has in store for us, because we do not give thanks for daily gifts. We think we dare not be satisfied with the small measure of spiritual knowledge, experience, and love that has been given to us, and that we must constantly be looking forward eagerly for the highest good. Then we deplore the fact that we lack the deep certainty, the strong faith, and the rich experience that God has given to others, and we consider this lament to be pious. We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts. How can God entrust great things to one who will not thankfully receive from Him the little things? If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ.

This applies in a special way to the complaints often heard from pastors and zealous members about their congregations. A pastor should not complain about his congregation, certainly never to other people, but also not to God. A congregation has not been entrusted to him in order that he should become its accuser before God and men. When a person becomes alienated from a Christian community in which he has been paced and begins to raise complaints about it, he had better examine himself first to see whether the trouble is not due to his wish dream that should be shattered by God; and if this be the case, let him thank God for leading him into this predicament. But if not, let him nevertheless guard against ever becoming an accuser of the congregation before God. Let him rather accuse himself for his unbelief. Let him pray God for an understanding of his own failure and his particular sin, and pray that he may not wrong his brethren. Let him, in the consciousness of his own guilt, make intercession for this brethren. Let him do what he is committed to do, and thank God.

Christian community is like the Christian's sanctification. It is a gift of God which we cannot claim. Only God knows the real state of our fellowship, of our sanctification. What may appear weak and trifling to us may be great and glorious to God. Just as the Christian should not be constantly feeling his spiritual pulse, so, too, the Christian community has not been given to us by God for us to be constantly taking its temperature. The more thankfully we daily receive what is given to us, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases.

Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate. The more clearly we learn to recognize that the ground and strength and promise of all our fellowship is in Jesus Christ alone, the more serenely shall we think of our fellowship and pray and hope for it.

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

centre

"Let believers on earth imitate the saints in heaven in their nearness to Christ. Let us on earth be as the elders are in heaven, sitting around the throne. May Christ be the object of our thoughts, the centre of our lives." -Spurgeon

"Have mercy upon me, O God." Psalm 51:1

a prayer

"My Lord, I leave the infinite to Thee, and pray Thee to put far from me such love for the tree of knowledge as might keep me from the tree of life." -Spurgeon

words

"Often we remain silent when we need to speak. Without words, it is hard to love well. When we say to our parents, children, lovers, or friends: 'I love you very much' or 'I care for you' or 'I think of you often' or 'You are my greatest gift,' we choose to give life." -Henri Nouwen

light

"Your word is a lamp that gives light wherever I walk." Psalm 119:105

"What God has said isn't only alive and active! It is sharper than any double-edged sword, His word can cut through our spirits and souls and through our joints and marrow, until it discovers the desires and thoughts of our hearts." Hebrews 4:12

they need Christ

I have been thinking more of myself lately than I'd like to admit. A friend told me that he too had been struggling with the all too common downfall of the bachelor... and I can't relay that thought in one sentence. A single man, as this is the only experience I have had personally, will eventually realize that he has been caring for himself.

I have, on occasion, had the clarity of thought to realize that most often I am thinking of myself. I have the ability to allow no one to become a burden... on my heart, of my thoughts, to me. Now I have seen it in friends, that when someone enters their life and they become something to each other, something more than, as Bonhoeffer wrote "merely an object to be manipulated" they have become a better person.

with their actions they have realized a part of who Christ was. this is who we need. this is who they need.

people have a distinct need. and there is one Gospel with many rivals.

God, forgive me. My sin is great. sanctify me. lead me, that I might follow Christ's example

"Thou shalt guide me with Thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory." Psalm 73:24