Monday, August 20
death at a funeral
so Alexis & I saw a movie- "Death at a Funeral" entertaining movie, funny, sometimes thoughtful. anyway other than timing and word association this movie really hasn't much to do with what I'm about to discuss what actually triggered my thoughts was when Alexis told me that her grandmother wasn't doing very well. her health is declining. the pain of death has crept upon Alexis & her family, again. (I feel like I must express that death, no matter how... joyful for the Christian, still carries a sting, a pain that even Christ experienced. a pain caused by the separation that this earth adheres to) immediately my thoughts scatter because I'd love to have the right thing to say, but instead I say, "everything's going to be okay." then I turn back to my thoughts- death. I know at some point in my life I thought death was final. I'm sure this was around the same time that I first ever pondered death. (for some reason this seems to be our first natural, and yet such an unnatural thought, instinct as to what happens after death) I think I thought that death was the end and that there was nothing after death (I really think I thought there was a level of existence equal to "black" ...whatever that means) but as I have grown (and grown closer to my own death) I have welcomed the existence of Truth. God. the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob. this awareness of Truth has completely altered my original creation (which left much wanting) or "after death" now I am aware of eternity. now I am aware that life does not end with death. I now think of "life on earth" and "life after earth." it's hard for me to comprehend their existence, their simultaneous existence. their existing because of Truth. now this may sound funny but- they have an existence equality. I say this because I want to make one a dream, or a non-reality when in Truth they are both existent. I'm the caterpillar tellin' the butterfly that he isn't real, and vice versa. and I know- the butterfly & the caterpillar are both real. life on earth and life after earth are both real. (even my favorite author, Lewis, expresses similar feelings of a disconnect from this life to the next when he said, "it'll be nice when we all wake up from this life which has indeed something like a nightmare about it.") so here I am, I just told Alexis, "everything's going to be okay" and now I'm thinking about death. the first thought that I can capture is- awful. death is awful. aw-ful. full of awe. devastatingly awful. I think part of dying must be witnessing the unveiled awe. I imagine that death must feel like drowning and learning you can breath water. we will experience what Adam experienced in the garden. what Moses experienced before the burning bush and on Mount Sinai. what Saul experienced on the road to Damascus. and what John experienced while on the island of Patmos. what these men saw as a glimmer in this life, we shall see with them in eternity for the Christian, welcome death. or as Dr. Criswell said it, "After death what? After death, to the Christian, is a glorious life, incomparably beautiful and precious, with Jesus our Lord in heaven. For to me to live is Christ and to die is a gain."