- The first rule of manhood is that they are in charge. Give it up. Realize they're smarter and better looking. We don't have a chance. You have to do everything you can to help yourself.
- A woman comes to a table and you're supposed to get up. Period. But I don't always do it. In general, you're supposed to do it every time. But sometimes you're seated against the wall and it's awkward.
- Never guess a woman's age. Never guess a woman's weight. Never even talk about weight in front of a woman. And never, ever ask a woman when she's due.
- Tipping your hat to a lady is good form. If you're at a dinner table, you'd most certainly take your hat off—cowboy hat, baseball hat, or otherwise.
- Women always go through the door first. Even ardent feminists would admit it's nice. It's not an acknowledgment of women as the weaker sex; it's perhaps an acknowledgment of women as the stronger sex. We follow.
- Never pass a woman a single roll, even if she says, "Don't pass them all over." Don't do it. Bring her the whole basket. Some things are a trick. I can hear the phone conversation later on with a girlfriend, "I asked him to pass a single roll. And he did!" It's a trap.
- There's etiquette to listening: If they're talking, shut up. Just shut up. Simple enough?
- In our modern world, what constitutes a thank-you note? Being able to dash off a text message has enabled me to be more immediate and less guilty. I believe the old adage that the sooner you write a thank-you note, the less you need to write. I realize that among real sticklers for manners, e-mails and texts would be verboten, but I think they can convey genuine sentiment.
- Never look in a woman's purse—invited or uninvited. Especially invited. Just refuse. Bring her her purse, don't fish around in there. We don't know what's in there, and we don't want to know.
- Who are these guys that order for women? Never order for a woman. You're going to tell a woman what to eat? Never tell a woman anything. Ask. And be grateful for whatever reply you might get.
- The idea is that you'd be like Cary Grant or George Clooney, in a graceful ballet of walking down the street, opening the door, and ushering a young lady into a limousine. But I'm really more like Maxwell Smart. I was opening a door for my fiancé today and I stepped on the back of her shoe and almost knocked her over. It happens a lot.
Tuesday, March 11
Rules from a Texas Gentleman by Lyle Lovett (love it)
Posted by Creth