last night

DISCLAIMER: raw, expect this to be raw... sorta straight from my head to the keyboard, no filtering

all right, so I was talking with my roommate last night about "relationships" or "the great abyss that swallows us all without reason or understanding" and I believe we can all agree that "relationships are difficult" but why is that?

here's what I said-

we're human. we're finite. we live in a body made of flesh and blood that is here today and will die tomorrow. we have a spirit that was created for eternity, that will live on into eternity.

the problem seems obvious, the survival rate for everyone is zero, and this knowledge will always be on the forefront of our minds. after all, don't most of our thoughts occur in that fleshy ball of tissue called our brain? it will always be a struggle for us to think in terms of eternity, to live with forever on our mind

personally I feel blessed to have that moment of clarity when I can look past this body of mine and see the great creation of God, heaven and hell, and all that will be after this life is gone

...but I'm here, now -and it's that thought process that gets me stuck thinking on me. I will do things to please myself, I will find ways to boost my confidence and don't think that you all aren't pawns in my ego's game. I'm very self-centered. and I've got it all figured out, I can seek things of this world for instant gratification. now I know that everything I'll find will eventually pass... someone loves the term "ephemeral" ...but that doesn't matter for the "now" does it?

the world was created by an eternal God. there is so much more I should say about Him but... well, I just need to make that another blog, right? ....anyway, God offers me a joy that will last forever, joy that is greater than happiness... and He promises me peace. but I just can't seem to think about "forever" and "eternity" because I'm hurting so much from what happened an hour ago, so I'll need to find another fix

I guess you could say that God is the cure for the eternal soul in a dying body

(this isn't the end, I just need to get back to work...)